Four Tips on Getting Help Around the Home

My hubby quietly came in the kitchen and began scraping food from a large bowl into a smaller one. He found tops to cover the leftovers and put them into the refrigerator. I glanced at him and smiled, then turned quickly back to my dishwashing lest I somehow stop this miracle in progress.

He doesn’t like doing the dishes. He doesn’t cook on the grill. This area is almost foreign to him-his kitchen knowledge is limited to taking out the trash or coming in for meals.

He said almost apologetically, “I don’t know if I’m doing this right.”

I thanked him with a smile and washed off the counter. We finished our work and took a second cup of coffee to the deck to cool off and rest a bit. I needed to take time to tell him once more how much his help meant to me. I also reminded him that I liked his company.

It seems as the years pass, we have become more sensitive to one another’s needs and try to be helpful when possible. That’s a given for most families. Today he taught me by example a lesson I think we all could benefit from.

When offering your help, do not simply pick the things you enjoy and ignore the rest. For my husband, helping clean the kitchen ranks down at the bottom of his list-way down. Not only that, I know he had work of his own to complete in the other room; he wasn’t in the kitchen with me because he was bored.

Here is what I believe are three keys to (eventually) getting help around the home:

1. Recognize the help you already have. Does someone in your home take out the trash, answer the phone for you, keep their things put away, or carry the laundry baskets to the laundry room? Take time to thank them for that; appreciate the small things. Let them know how much it helps.

2. When more help is offered, take it as it comes. I will never tell the one helping me that they covered my dish of scraps and refrigerated them! Neither will I spend time wishing they had done things a different way; my way is not always the right way. (Incidentally, that has been a really difficult lesson to learn for me. How about you?)

3. Do not drag people kicking and screaming to help you. Ask politely for help when needed. If refused or ignored, make the best of it. Each year my husband seems to be more comfortable helping with the kitchen, laundry, or cleaning. I think asking him to do small things periodically for me in those areas has helped him feel more comfortable and equipped to help more. A man (or woman for that matter) does not feel secure trying to help in unfamiliar territory.

4. Do not spend your time complaining about not having help. Be thankful for the abilities and resources God has provided for you and try to enjoy even the most menial daily tasks. Be thankful you have someone to share with and let them know they are more important that what they will or will not do.

A verse in Colossians 3 comes to mind about now that seems to sum this all up:

“And whatsoever you do, do it heartily as unto the Lord, and not unto men.”

May your lives be enriched by those in your home and those you care for as you continue to bless others along the way.